"Fuck the future. We had fun yesterday; not tomorrow."
A friend once lamented this statement after a long discussion about whether it's better to always look to the future, or constantly reminisce about times gone by.
In the context of the discussion and setting it was a brilliant quote. Following a night out in which questionable deeds were done, my friend Tom and I stumbled to our hangover favourite; Hungry Jack's.
After gorging ourselves silly on hotcakes, sausage and egg muffins (it seems weird not to call it a 'McMuffin') and a fountain of OJ, our conversation predictably turned to certain 'nefarious' deeds that were committed.
The conversation became quite philosophical and poignant, a rare occurance on any given day for us.
Being the one who made a fool of themselves that night, I was of the strong opinion that "it is better to look to the future; it is always as bright as you want it to be".
Tom on the other hand thought that "history was more important than the future; nothing in the future is ever certain or has happened for that matter". (Both quotes appear eloquent here; but they most definitely were not during the actual conversation)
Our discussion on the topic spanned a whole host of things I can barely remember. But after a solid couple of hours spent eating, laughing and trying not to move too quickly or too often, Tom dropped his one liner which promptly ended the talk.
As I think about my life and the direction I'm headed I can't help but think of Tom's quote. I like to keep things optimistic, or at least try. For me, optimism is about keeping things moving and looking forward to what's next, never dwelling on something too much.
That said, I often find myself having a strong feeling of emptiness, as if I'm just moving rapidly towards the end.
Tom's quote really puts things into a nice perspective for me. As much as I feel it is important to keep things progressing and ticking over, it's also important to remember everyone and everything in life.
We are all privileged to be alive; some more so than others (as unfair as that is, equality is still a big issue everywhere).
Today; following my last exam of the year; I spent a few moments sitting on my balcony reminiscing about my life up until this point. I felt content at how things have turned out so far. There are a few things I wish I could change (e.g. what I did the night before the discussion with Tom :] ); but like always I figure the future is still in front of me.
It was nice to put my life into historical perspective; who is/was important, where I learned to do things, etc etc etc.
In my mind it was nice to feel like my life was a culmination of others; my parents, my family, my friends, my teachers, my coaches, whoever else has come along my journey; as if there was some kind of meaningful connection to everyone and everything. My life was like a spiders web entangling people, places and memories. It sounds corny and cliché, but worrying about sounding like a bad movie script only makes one miserable.
So in looking forward, and looking back I made a couple of lists about this year.
For the rest of 2009 I'm looking forward to:
- An endless summer on the Gold Coast; sunshine, the beach and good friends.
- Visiting home! Home is where the heart it is; and mine is most definitely in Chinchilla.
- Christmas with the family. It doesn't happen enough.
- New Years Eve. One hell of a night is already in the works.
Of 2009 I will have fond memories of:
- The village. Most likely my last year here on campus; lot's of happy memories.
- All the new people I've met along the way. The more the merrier.
- Seeing my brother get a football scholarship. Much love little man.
- All the late night adventures; from eating cheeto's on a random front lawn to 'acquiring' cushions from neighbours.
2009 has been good to me; hopefully 2010 is ever better.
If not; I can always look back on '09 :]
